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Saturday, November 28, 2015
  • Tuesday, November 24, 2015 11:59 PM
    What's the longest known chest hair?  The heaviest pumpkin on record? Or the longest time a person ever whistled? See a list of these superlatives by reading the newest edition of the Guinness World Records Book. I skimmed the entire 250 pages in three minutes, 6.8 seconds, which I am told gets me in the next edition. 
  • Wednesday, November 18, 2015 1:51 AM
    I remember finding it in our living room, nestled between two Frank Sinatra albums. I recall carefully fitting the record over the tiny spindle on the Victrola (I'll wait while you young people google that word) and asking myself what a “button-down mind” was. 
  • Monday, November 09, 2015 2:28 AM
    Thanksgiving is still a couple of weeks away and I’m already annoyed at all the advice that is going to be stuffed down our throats about not stuffing a lot of stuff down our throats—like stuffing. Every morning TV show has some nutritional expert advising you how to cut down your T-day meal from 5,000 calories to a mere 4,300 by substituting yogurt for mayonnaise. Yuck. 
  • Sunday, November 01, 2015 10:57 PM
    Prior to beginning our home renovations, I had never been in my wife's bathroom.  It wasn't that I didn't want to pay an occasional visit to her private domain; I just didn’t know the combination to the lock.
  • Sunday, October 25, 2015 8:25 PM
    “Are you asleep?” screamed my wife from the bottom of the stairs. I was taking my traditional 2 p.m. siesta at the time. “Not anymore,” I said.
    She came upstairs and told me a truck had just arrived with all the fixtures and hardware for the two bathrooms we were renovating.  The delivery men had recognized our name and asked my wife if I was the guy on TV.
  • Monday, October 19, 2015 12:19 AM
    When I was home for my 50th high school reunion, I went to Citi Field, the new home of the New York Mets, to enjoy one of their final games of the regular season.
  • Wednesday, October 14, 2015 1:11 AM

    If you wear the wrong name tag, most people won’t know the difference for at least an hour.

    The group I hung out with in 1965 didn’t take drugs. Now, we all do.

    All the girls who said they once had a crush on me should have mentioned this five decades ago.

  • Sunday, October 04, 2015 11:38 PM
    Here’s Part II of my favorite TV moments in 35 years. It seems like yesterday that I was standing in front of a camera with no clue where to look or what to say. Wait, that was yesterday.
  • Monday, September 21, 2015 12:22 AM
    October 1 will be my 35th year in television. Actually, I started on September 1, 1980. During my first four weeks in Columbus, Ohio, most people were saying, “I don’t believe they put that guy on TV,” so I’m not counting that month.

  • Sunday, September 13, 2015 9:31 PM

    Next week I head to New Rochelle, New York, for my 50th high school reunion. My reunion is not just with old classmates, but also with my hometown, a mid-size suburban city just north of Manhattan—and the setting for the residence of Rob and Laura Petrie of the Dick Van Dyke Show.

    I have been back to New Rochelle countless times, but primarily to see family. This time, I hope to:

    . . . see my first New York baseball game in, yes, 50 years. In June of 1965, despite losing 70 games already that season, the Miracle Mets were only four years away from winning the World Series. The Mets’ home, Shea Stadium, was torn down in 2008 and replaced by Citi Field. Entering a major league park for the first time is always a thrill—just like the 100th time.


The Paper of Montgomery County,
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